All I Ever Wanted
by Parfait-Powah
Summary: My first ever fic. Arthur confesses that he is lonely without Alfred, and later on discovers prehaps he isn't as alone as he thinks. I rated T just to be safe.


**Please read if you wouldn't mind: **Okay, this is my first ever FanFic. In fact, this the first time I have written anything really so it's more then likely to be a bit boring for some people, but I gave it my best so pleasebe gentle with me. Please don't be really horrible about it, I really gave it a go. However, I would appreciate constructive critism. It's rather long winded but I hope at least one person enjoys it! . So... here ya go!

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Francis had called together another meeting. It was the third time this month that he had called together everyone, to discuss random ideas that were completely out of the question, so it was no wonder that Arthur found himself incredibly bored. Being the true gentlemanly Brit he was, he had tried to bring up polite conversation with Yao at the previous meeting, only to find himself in a fierce argument over his culinary skills, or rather, his lack of them. Due to his little spout, he had asked to swap seats with Ivan this time round, who was more than happy to. Arthur sat down at his new seat. He gave a small sigh,closed his eyes and prepared himself for another relentless speech from Francis, he was getting far too old to keep all this up...

"ARTHUR!"

Arthur jumped at the sudden shriek of his name. He blinked open his eyes only to have a very large, almost sparkling blue pair stare back him. Arthur took a little gasp as Alfred chuckled and leant back from across the table into his own seat. "It doesn't matter if you close your eyes, Arthur, you'll still hear him!" Arthur scowled, It had been several months since they had last spoken properly and America was still as annoying as ever.

"I know that. I'm not an idiot." Arthur spat back.

"Haha, well, what brings to you down to my end of the table?" Arthur cleared his throat, as long as he had known Alfred, he still found it hard to talk to him since he stopped being one of his colonies.

"It isn't _your _end of the table, and I had a small quarrel with Yao the last time we met, so I think it's best if I sit away from him for now."

"Was it about your bad taste in food and cooking again?" Alfred chuckled. As infuriating as he was, his laugh still brought a smile to Arthur's face.

"I-It's not that bad"

"I guess so. I used to really enjoy your cooking, I was such a silly kid!" Alfred smiled. Arthur had always thought Alfred's smile to something like the sun, it was precious, golden, and made Arthur feel happy and warm inside and now was no exception, only this time, he made him feel a small amount of pain along with it. Alfred's words made Arthur think of carefree days spent with the very young Alfred. Arthur took a moment to remember when he had first found Alfred, how shy and clingy he was, the way he wrapped himself round Arthur's legs and wouldn't let go. He was nothing like he is now. Arthur sighed softly, wearing an expression Alfred couldn't quite read.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, in his usually quirky manor. Arthur looked at Alfred, he had grown very handsome, he eyes were a beautiful ocean blue, and his face was a lot more masculine then Arthur had cared to notice before. Alfred was a man now, a very strong an independent man. It had been a very long time since he needed Arthur's help, a long time since _anyone_ needed his help. He smiled weakly.

"I was thinking about the good old days, back when you were still a part of my Empire." Arthur's expression grew slightly sadder. The good old days, when he even had an Empire. "You were so small then, I wanted you to always stay that way. I loved playing with you,and watching you grow, it was nice having someone who I had to look after, I felt like I was really needed....... but I guess your all grown up now, you don't really have any use an old man like me any more"

"Yeah, I thought were huge back then! But once I was only a few inches smaller than you, I guess that's when I realised I could be just as big you, I never thought I'd get even bigger!" Alfred grinned at the thought, that he was actually bigger then Arthur, who for so long he had thought was the biggest and strongest nation in the world. Arthur scowled at Alfred's stupid grin.

"I wish you hadn't" He mumbled. Alfred stopped grinning and turned his head.

"What?"

"I said I wish you hadn't gotten any bigger. I wish you had stayed small and reliant on me as _my_ colony"

"Hey, hey! I had to start looking after myself, I couldn't let you control me forever!"

Arthur felt like he had been stabbed through the gut. Controlled? Alfred felt controlled?!

"What the fuck are you talking about! I never controlled you! I did anything but, I cared for you and raised you, I gave you every god damn fucking thing you wanted. I gave you everything! And how did you repay me? You shoved it all back in my face, had your little 'revolution'. Pushed me out of your life just 'cos you wanted to start being the hero! You kicked me to the ground and left me all alone.

"Whoa, Arthur I never meant to-"

"No shut up and listen for once! You cut off your ties with me and never spoke me for so long, but it was okay for you! You're not alone here, you have Canada and all your little states and even some of the countries to your south are friendly, but who do I have? No one, I'm just a sad little island that you haven't even bothered visiting without some motive, you have never came to see how I am!"

Arthur could feel his eyes begin to sting, as tears pricked at the corners and tried to fight their way to the surface. His voice was shaking and his body felt weak.

"Didn't you understand? Do you even get it now? You were all I had left Alfred, I wanted to stay with you, I wanted you to always stay mine, even without the others I-" Arthur felt a small wet streak down the side of his face. He was at breaking point, he never expected for things to ever get this out of hand, he had always tried to ignore it, the way he really felt inside.

"I thought that.....as long as you were still mine, that I'd...I'd still be happy!" Alfred's eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Arthur stood there for a second, his head was spinning and he couldn't even think coherently. His breathe was heavy and his fingers numb .

"A-Arthur"

The reality of what he had just done suddenly sunk in. Arthur felt his cheeks grow red. Oh dear God he had never wanted to tell anyone that. What was he going to do. The whole room was staring at Arthur in silence. Oh dear lord he was at a meeting! Everyone must have heard. Arthur grabbed his things and left the room swiftly. He'd made such a fool of himself, pouring out everything he felt in a random outburst like that, to every nation present, and worse, to America. Arthur ran into Francis as he left, knocking papers everywhere, but Arthur didn't help to pick them up, he just wanted to go home.

A loud whispering had began in the room while Alfred just sat there, his couldn't move from his seat, his body froze and his chest felt stuffy and painful. Was Arthur really this sad? Was he really this lonely now that he no longer had his colonies? He'd always put on a strong face and bragged about his glory days, but deep down, he was just trying to cover up the fact that he missed being on top, he had nobody left depending on him. Arthur's last words made Alfred feel a little guilty, there was no way he was going to carry on being under Arthur's control! He needed to grow up and fend for himself, he had to have his revolution then.

But maybe, he could have been nicer about it, he would always drag Arthur out with him on The Fourth, he had thought of it as nothing more than celebrating his birthday, but it must have been horrible for Arthur, to have sit there and listen, and remember all the hurt and pain he had to deal with, he would have to remember all of it and when it all boils down, Alfred had turned his back on Arthur, and broke his heart. Finally, Alfred found himself in control of his own body again, and he rose from his seat and the whole room went silent once again, he looked around at everyone before waltzing out the door, as Francis stood at the front, speech back in tact, and wondered what on earth he had missed.

Arthur ran all the way home and didn't stop once. That had to be the most embarrassing and saddest moment of his entire life. Not only had he told, no, not only had he thrown his feelings into Alfred's face, but he had done it in front of every nation and in the lousiest of situations. He reached his front gate when a loud thunder could be heard. Of course, Arthur was already in the foulest of moods, the weather just had to follow. Arthur stood at his gate and thought of Alfred again. He closed his eyes and imagined that it was back a couple hundred years, and he was at his old house in America, _their_ house.

The weather became sunny, and light reflected of the grass in the garden, he walked through the gate and up the path. Arthur look at the door handle and it was almost a replica of the one in America, he had remembered every detail, and as he turned it and opened the door he was greeted by a small, cute and innocent Alfred. Arthur smiled, and little Alfred smiled back sweetly. It was like the past years never happened. Arthur bent down and picked up Alfred. The sweet boy in his arms was now that strong and burly man from earlier, Arthur almost didn't believe it. Just as he went to give the small child a squeeze and almighty CRASH echoed through the room.

The sound of thunder and heavy rain suddenly filled the room, which had returned to it's normal dark and empty self and Arthur found that he no longer carried his beloved Alfred. Arthur frowned and could feel his tears returning. Arthur dragged himself into the living room and slumped onto the sofa. The heavy rain outside filled the room with noise, with the occasional boom of thunder. Arthur was grateful for this, it meant he didn't have to sit alone in silence at least. Arthur closed his eyes and thought about what had happened that day. It still felt so unreal, he had never thought he would ever tell anyone about the insecurities he had felt for so long. And how was he going to face Alfred after this! Oh he had made such a mess of things, there was no way Alfred would ever face him, let alone speak to him ever again. He really didn't have anyone, and as his sobs echoed through out the room it only seemed to emphasis this fact and made he cry harder.

After several minutes crying, Arthur's face felt tight with his dry tears. He could imagine his face looked bloody awful right now, so he hauled himself up to go and wash. As he passed through the hallway, there was knock at the door. Who on earth could be it at the hour and in this weather? Arthur opened the door and almost turned to stone. It was Alfred. In a haste Arthur tried to close the door, but the larger nation had stopped it.

"Please let me in" Arthur ducked his head. He knew he was being childish but after today's stunt he couldn't care less.

"Please" Arthur found he no longer had the energy to fight back against the door, and slowly let the other man in. Alfred squelched in, and stood quiet and still in the hallway. Arthur looked up at him. His clothes were soaked and his hair clung to his forehead. He almost seemed to glow in the moonlight and Arthur couldn't help but think he looked more dazzling then he had earlier. As they stood there in the dim light if the hallway, Arthur could feel his heart thumping in his chest. He had to apologise for earlier, he didn't want Alfred to hate him, or feel guilty. He faced the tall man in front of him. He really had grown up a lot bigger then either of them ever thought. Arthur couldn't stand the silence. He thought hard and decided, he had to get this of his chest properly.

"Alfred, I'm really sorry about earlier, I...I don't know what came over me. I never meant to go off on one like that." Alfred stood still, he didn't look Arthur in face. "Please, don't be angry with me, I shouldn't have said it like that but I meant it. ….Alfred, you may not want to hear it but, I lo- Alfred suddenly raised his hand and Arthur flinched, expecting to receive a blow to the face. Instead Alfred had ever so softly grasped Arthur's chin with his finger and thumb.

"Why did you flinch? I'd never harm you, Arthur" Alfred's voice was husky and his face was close now, it sent shivers down Arthur's spine and made him giddy. "I-I need to tell you this Alfred, just let me..." Alfred leaned in closer still and tilted Arthur's head.

"You have been crying, haven't you?" Arthur felt his heart begin to pound now.

He gazed into the sapphire pools that were Alfred's eyes. They were beautiful and round, Arthur felt he could just stand there forever and watch them. His mind went blank and his face grew hotter, he'd never felt so warm.

"A-Alfred, please I let me say it..." Alfred drew their heads closer, their noses were barely inches apart by now.

" Alfred, I-" Alfred closed the gap between them, Arthur thought he was going to collapse. His legs went to jelly as Alfred's soft lips pressed against his own. Arthur made gasping noise in his throat, and Alfred pressed himself against his chest. This couldn't be happening, his whole body felt limp and hot. A cold wet palm met his own, their fingers brushed before folding in between each other. Arthur didn't mind that his own clothes were getting damp, or that his hand felt clammy. Everything he was feeling right now meant everything to him. Arthur opened his mouth slightly, a moist tongue softly stroked his lips. Arthur wish this would last an eternity. It felt nice to have Alfred here with him, he had wanted this for so very long. Alfred wrapped his other arm around Arthur's waist, slowly, reluctantly drawing his face away from Arthur. For a moment, both men stood still, searching each others face before Alfred hugged Arthur close, burying his head in Arthur's neck.

"Arthur..." Alfred breathed onto Arthur's neck, his breath was hot, and Arthur felt another electric wave shoot down back. He grabbed onto the fabric on Alfred's back, not letting go of his grip on the other hand.

"Arthur, ever since we separated, I've wanted do that." Alfred raised his head, his mouth directly in line with Arthur's ear.

"I want you to know that, although I declared interdependency, I still belong to you" Alfred straightened himself, held Arthur's face between his hands and gave him another brief kiss. Smiling, he swiped away Arthur's tear with his thumbs and laughed. Despite his puffy eyes and tear streaked face, Arthur was still the most beautiful person he had ever met.

"I'll always be yours, Arthur. No matter what"

Arthur smiled, yet continued to cry. He could live a 1000 more years just hearing this. Once again his hugged Alfred close and pressed hid head into the other man's warm damp chest. Alfred rested his head on the other head, and closed his. For a good few minutes, both of them stood there. The thunder and rain continued on loudly outside, but inside the house, the only noise they heard was the sound of each others beating hearts.

"I love you, Alfred"


End file.
